What To Do If You're Secretly A Jerk

    

    Forward, photos, captions, and blog by Chris Hickey. Actual article by the brilliant and lovely Kyleen Russell. 

***

    Do you ever think condescending thoughts about people when they're trying their hardest at something? Do you assume mental superiority over someone because of what they wear, listen to, or do for fun? Do you continually find yourself wishing people would just shut up and do it your (clearly superior) way? If you've answered yes to any or all of these questions, than you, dear reader, are probably an asshole jerk.

    Just kidding. What it really means is that you are a sinful human being (or, if you're not religious, it just means you're human and therefore not perfect), and at least you're keeping it to yourself. I hope.

                                                                                                image: timberry.bplans.com

"I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU! WEIRDOS"

"..."
"I meant, 'You're all really unique in ways that are different than me, and I appreciate that about all of you.'"

    But how do we change, or at least control, these negative thoughts and emotions? How do we stop being secretly horrible people? Or, if we can't and a bad thought slips out for everyone to hear, what can disguise our obviously abhorrent inner attitude?

    I have no idea. Originally, I wrote a list of silly, obviously fake tips on how to be a less horrible person, concluding with the message, "Don't try to fake it; just focus on being better.". However, after reading and rereading what Kyleen wrote, I decided it would be better for her chunk of our coauthored masterpiece to be the main focus, because not only is it wonderfully written, but it also takes a much more contemplative approach to the topic of our inner demons of pride and vulgar frames of mind.

    So, without further ado...

***

    Imagine if your thoughts were amplified for the world to hear.

    How majorly would that suck, right? Oh, how we fear transparency.

    We scramble through the labyrinth that is social tact, pining to appear likable and nice—but let’s face it. Half the time, we say nice things while actually thinking rude, degrading thoughts.

    Externally, you could be the sweetest, most gracious person on the planet, but explore the inner neighborhood of your body, locate the address of your soul and ring the doorbell—you’ll probably be greeted by a chauvinistic smart-ass. Why? Because even the “nicest” people are often mean and rude…at least in the privacy of their head. Even Mother Teresa was probably a bitch.

                                                                                                            image: time.com

Pharisee.

    Wait, what?

    It boils down to human nature; we have rudeness ingrained in our DNA. However, I am in no way condoning this. It would be absurd to nonchalantly accept and be content with all terrible things simply because they’re inherently human. That’s such a cop-out. Like, “Mass genocide and female-genital-mutilation and rape and nuclear wars really suck. But, hey, it’s human nature! We can’t do anything about it. Oh well!”

    But anyways, what is the point of saying something if our thoughts don’t truly align with it? We have grown complacent with our external, insincere kindness and internal rudeness.

    How many times do we give a hollow compliment, simply in hopes of being perceived as a kind person?

    External: “Oh my gosh, you look so great! Where did you get that outfit? It’s terrific!”

    Internal: “Oh my god, is Hellen Keller your stylist? I would never wear that in a million years.

 
    Giving dishonest compliments for the sake of appearing “nice” is…well, not nice.

 
    (And it’s not better to say the offensive thing you’re thinking just for honesty’s sake. The goal is to transform your offensive thought into a genuinely kind thought.)

                                                                                                       image: fit.webmd.com

"Hey dweeb! I like your sweater! It counteracts your lameness!"

Eh...good try.

    How often do we feign concern/sympathy for people and their struggles—simply scraping together some cliché advice and perhaps adding “I’ll totally be praying for you” for good measure—when REALLY we think, “Well, it’s not my fault they’re in this mess. Maybe if they weren't such a retarded crackhead whore they wouldn't have so many issues. Besides, I can’t really do anything to help” and then fail to ACTUALLY pray for them?

    So why do we pretend to be kind? How can we be GENUINE? How can we say loving things and actually mean them sans any hidden rude thoughts?

    Or does the inherent hypocrisy, rudeness, and passive-aggression of mankind conquer everyone—even the people who are seemingly sweet and sincere? Is there a way to synchronize one’s thoughts and words?

                                                                                       image: wannabehacks.co.uk

 
    For people who don’t possess the power of the Holy Spirit, probably not. They can try and try and try and try (times infinity) to overcome their corrupt mind, but they will fail. They can gargle the mantra: “I will not think bad thoughts. I will not think bad thoughts” in their mouths forever, but they will fail.

    It cannot be accomplished by human strength. However, if we DO know the Holy Spirit, there is a solution; there is hope. Only through the Holy Spirit’s power can we genuinely be kind and rid ourselves of offensive, hypocritical thoughts.

    The Bible tells us to take every thought captive: “We break down every thought and proud thing that puts itself up against the wisdom of God. We take hold of every thought and make it obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10: 5 NLV)

    The Bible commands us to think on things that are true, right, and pure. (Philippians 4:8)

    The Bible commands us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12: 1)

    So, I am not writing this to encourage distrust of people who compliment you or listen to your problems. That’s not the point. There are plenty of people who daily, moment-by-moment, ask the Holy Spirit to purify their thoughts and, as a result of that, actually mean the kind things they say. I just want to be one of those people, and you probably do too. Please. Understand that I am NOT promoting cynicism.

    I am simply discussing this because I know for a fact everyone struggles with it, and I want to remind/challenge people to surrender their thoughts to God. The mind is so freaking important.

    Basically, hypocrisy blows.

 
    Perhaps we should try to be genuinely kind.

                                                                                                                              image: farm5.staticflickr.com

Or, if that's too hard, you can always just live as a nomad. If there's no people around, how can you be mean to anyone?
Oh, who am I kidding. You're human. You'll find a way.