So You've Just Gotten Home From A Long Day of Pushing Carts in the Snow

Good evening, unskilled laborer! We can see from your hunched over stance and far off gaze that you've had a particularly...not great day at work today. Fret not! We have a simple 5 step plan for dealing with such employment related bereavement.

Step 1: GET DRY. From where you're standing, this may seem a daunting, near impossible task. This is understandable, seeing as you spent the better part of 8 hours out in a veritable snowstorm, voluntarily forgoing your regularly scheduled breaks to keep from falling even further behind on your cart-pushing duties. However, if you can drag your weak and fragile body up to your room, you can change into some fresh clothes, preferably your Star Wars pajama pants and an overlarge t-shirt. Feeling a bit better? More comfortable? Good! On to...

Step 2: MAKE A FIRE. This can technically be done anywhere you please, providing you have matches, but we would rather you do it in the fireplace. Don't worry, it's right at the bottom of the stairs. Yes, you DO have to go downstairs. Don't just crawl in to bed, go do the rest of the steps! It'll pay off, we promise. Go start the damn fire.

Step 3: MAKE HOT COCOA. Time to get your insides filled with some delicious warmth. DO add peppermint, vanilla, and cinnamon for extra deliciousness. DO NOT use chocolate milk. You tried that last time, remember? That's when you learned there can be too much of a good thing. Just use the regular one percent.

STEP 4: FIND A GOOD BLANKET. Really any old blanket will do. We're not really sure who even added this to the list. I mean, there's literally a basket of them right next to the fire place. Just pick one. This could totally be a 4 step list...huh. Oh well. Ready for the last one?

STEP 5: RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS. With all the materials gathered, hobble your way over to the fireplace and plop your sorry butt down in front of it. Now, set your hot chocolate to the side, curl up in a fetal position beneath the blanket, and weep bitterly into the carpet. Yes, shhhhhh, that's it. Let it all out. There, there...oh look, he's cried himself to sleep. Let's leave. He's got another big day ahead of him.

Congratulations! You have successfully completed our course on how to cope with weather related work grievances. When you wake up, make sure to clean up the hot chocolate you kicked over while you fitfully slumbered before the hearth, and prepare yourself for another work day.

We suggest you get well acquainted with these steps, as you'll be repeating them every night you close until winter passes.

Sweet dreams!