So, you're starting school in a few days, huh? Isn't that the worst? All summer you're bored out of your skull, and then when school comes along, you remember all of the amazing things you were going to do with your summer. And then school just seems like the worst possible thing that could happen to you.
There's a million different life "survival guides" out there. High school "survival guides", dating "survival guides", college "survival guides", parenting "survival guides" and the list goes on.
This article is not a survival guide for high school. I want to be clear about that. The fact is, you will survive high school. High school will not be the death of you. It will, at times, be frustrating, depressing, and insanely difficult, but it will not kill you. In fact, it will probably be the easiest and most fun four years of your life.
image: fanpop.com
No, I'm serious! School is awesome! Settle down!
I know I'm not exactly filled with years and years of wisdom. I haven't even started college yet! But I am fresh out of high school. A week ago, I went back to my high school for a church event that was being held in the auditorium. It was the the first time I'd been back since the day before I graduated.
I walked the halls alone. It was quiet. It was lonely. I cried.
So many memories flooded my brain. The person I am now was formed and molded inside that building, and now it's just a building that other kids have school at. I won't be able to go back and learn more life lessons from friends or teachers. No longer will I form stronger friendships while chatting with people in the halls or at lunch. That stage has ended, so when I went back to my old high school, I began experiencing Lasts. Again. I had thought for sure I was done with that, but...oh well.
I decided that I wanted other people to go through what I was going through. Not in the sense that I want them to be sad, but I wanted other people to have such a good time in high school that if they ever return to the building when they graduate, they will have to fight back tears when all the positive memories hit them.
So, here is a list of tips for getting the most out of your high school experience. Not all of them are necessarily enjoyable, but they will help you learn and become a better person. And if you learn only one thing, let it be this: High school will not kill you.
image: highschoogle.com
High school sports, on the other hand...
(Also, just a heads up...I am a boy. I am going to write this as though only to boys, because that is all I have experienced in my life. My experiences in high school were those of a boy, because I have always been a boy. However, girls can learn from this as well. Just try to switch the gender pronouns where possible.)
1. Be friendly to everyone.
This will be hard. Trust me, it will. There are some people out there who, for whatever reason, will not have any interest in getting to know you. And that's okay.
Why is this okay? Because you don't have to be friends with everyone; you just need to be nice. The easiest way to get friends is to be friendly with strangers, and if they return the friendliness, then viola! Friendship possibilities open up.
Whether you care about being popular or not, in general life will be much easier when people are nice to you. You don't have to worry about having "enemies", there will be less drama in your friend group, and you won't have to endure any awkward classes with that one kid you called a mean name behind their back one time and they heard about it and now they and their friends hate you and sit right across from you and stare at you and whisper things and then giggle. That won't happen.
image: 123rf.com
"Sooo, Suzie, when I said that you were a dumb because you're blonde, what I meant to say was..."
"Hey, Rick? Don't talk to me. We're not friends anymore."
"Hey, Rick? Don't talk to me. We're not friends anymore."
As I said before, there will be people who don't like you. And that's okay. They're idiots, because you are awesome and they are missing out on a cool friendship.
2. Do your homework, but don't obsess over it.
I was terrible at science or math. Both subjects I find absolutely fascinating in theory, but in practice, they suck. Hard. Geometry and biology specifically, because of all the theorems and definitions you have to memorize. I suck at memorizing, and biology isn't fun until you get to cut open dead things.
Because of my lack of interest or skill in either area, I would end up not doing my homework. I would open my binder/folder/book I had crammed homework sheets into, and stare at it for a few minutes. I would try reeeeeeeally hard for about 4 minutes, and then say, "Eh, good enough."
DO NOT DO THIS. Teachers do not appreciate lazy students. A teacher will be much more inclined to take an interest in you and how you're doing if you apply yourself. If you just naturally suck at the class, with a little hard work and some help from the teacher, you can probably pull off a solid C.
There are no high school classes (with the exception of Calculus or Physics, which I never took, but I hear they're totes ridiculous) that should be failable if you simply try your hardest and do the work. So what if you got a D on the homework? Ask for extra credit from the teacher, or if that's not an option, ask for a redo.
Also, study hard. If you don't know your stuff, your going to fail for sure. I hated studying, and almost never did it, but when I did, it helped. And by the way, skimming the bold words in your textbook during the passing period before the quiz does not count as studying. Click here to learn how to study from world renowned studying masters, the Scientologists (it was one of the sponsored links when I Googled "Study Techniques).
image: telegraph.co.uk
They'll teach you their study techniques for the small fee of 1 million U.S. dollars, and your firstborn child.
On the flip-side of this, don't become so consumed with your schoolwork that you forget to enjoy your free time. Even if your one of those kids who is banking on a ton of scholarships to get into college, you can still dip into your Sunday afternoon study hours every now and then to hang out with friends.
Never again in your life will you have such easy access to new friends and so much time on your hands (well, maybe in a nursing home, but then you won't have the energy or physical ability to go on wacky adventures), so use it. Good grades are important, but in my opinion, making memories and making friends trumps homework any day.
Teachers and parents will not like me for saying this, but if you have to choose between doing a worksheet and going out with your newly met friends on a beautiful fall day and running around in the park and then going over to one of their houses and having a bonfire and staying up till midnight playing on guitars and singing and telling stories and in general having a blast...take the F on that assignment.
You don't usually have to do that though. You can rush the assignment and get a passing grade on it. You could definitely do part of it. What matters is that you learn the material as well as you need to, not that the system is able to keep track of how they feel you measure up to whatever trivial and insubstantial criteria they have set in place to justify their existence.
Last bit of advice in this section: A 50%, while still an F, is far better than a 0%. Don't just not do stuff because you think you're going to fail anyway, or because you have other stuff you want to do. Do as much as you can, without compromising what you think is really most important in your life.
However, balancing your time for both school work and time with friends can be difficult sometimes, which is why this next one is important...
3. Delay getting a job (unless you absolutely have to have one).
"WHAT??? DELAY GETTING A JOB??? BUT I NEED THAT MONEY FOR COLLEGE, OR FOR GAS MONEY, OR FOR DATE MONEY, OR...."
Okay then, jeez! Then get a job. But trust me, a Freshmen in high school does not need a job. Most don't have one, but those that do are going to lose out on one of the last truly easy years of their life. I also don't think sophomores need a job, but if you think you definitely do, then get one with few hours and a flexible schedule.
Freshmen and Sophomore year, school is your job. Do your schoolwork, and in your free time, be with friends. You don't want to miss out on going to the homecoming game and sitting by a super cute girl and really hitting it off because you have to close at your work.
I didn't get a job until I was out of high school. Yes, I did have it kind of easy; I had an allowance until I was 18. I got by with small amounts of cash, and a lot of mooching off of friends. Was that ideal? Not really. Nobody likes a mooch.
I would suggest getting a job in the summer after your Junior year, or late in your Junior year. Summers are a wonderful thing, and once you get a job, they are over. Forever. Once you have a job, if you ever spend an entire summer unemployed (and you're not a teacher), people will see you as lazy. So think very, very carefully about when you'll get a job.
image: images.businessweek.com
Or maybe, if you're lucky, the economy will get so bad that you won't even have to bother with that kind of thing anymore.
And plan ahead. If you know you're not going to get a job for another few years, you can plan other things during the summer, like volunteering at a summer camp or going on a camping trip with some of your good friends. However, many summer fun activities require traveling over distances that you do not want to walk, which is why I suggest that you...
4. Get your license as early as humanly possible.
Seriously. This is huge. Getting your license will open up so many possibilities for you. You don't even have to own a car. If your family only has one car, it is still worth it to have your license, because every once in awhile, you may get to drive it.
I do not have my license as of the time I am writing this, and that is one of my greatest sources of shame. I was lazy and took forever to get my permit, and when I finally got it, I never practiced driving, and failed the test multiple times. Now that I have a job (which I bus to every day, taking 45 extra minutes) I don't have time to schedule a license test. And it will only get harder as time goes by.
This is no bueno. My situation is mucho suckisho. Having a license is kinda necessary for social things, especially if your like me and nearly all your friends live at least 20 minutes from you on the highway.
image: more.com
"They said the movie starts in 2 hours, so if I sprint slightly faster than Usain Bolt the rest of the way, I should get there...two hours after it finishes. Damn. I need a license."
Life is obviously doable without a license, but it is much more awkward. There really isn't a good excuse for not having it past the age of 17, short of being blind or not having hands/feet. Or if you live in places like New York City.
*(In episode two of Ultimate Spider-Man {the cartoon, not the comics}, he gets a Spider-Motorcycle from SHIELD, and has no idea how to drive it. Nick Fury is surprised he doesn't know how to drive, and he's all, "Bro, why would I need to drive? I live in New York! Plus, I'm Spider-Man!" That's how I know you don't need a license in New York City.)
image: thetoyverse.com
I'm not the best at staying on subject. But look! Spider-Man on a motorcycle!!!
Sorry.
From what I hear, the only downside of having a license is that losers like me ask you for rides all the time. But at least you get to hang out with people! Don't let yourself become the taxi service, though. Unless you offer to drive someone somewhere ahead of time, they are not entitled to your time and gas money. However, don't be rude and tell them to catch a bus if they have no other option. Remember lesson 1.
Remember, I don't have my license yet; this is all my opinion. This is how I think I will behave when I get my license.
Also, guys: Do not ask a girl out if you cannot drive her from her house if necessary. Seriously. It isn't cool. I've done it, and it's super humiliating. Yeah, I paid for movie tickets and stuff, but it is so awkward when the girl has to drop you off at home afterwards. That is a big nope.
That's why, as a matter of personal pride, I refuse to ask anyone out again until I have my license. Ideally, the guy drives to the girls house, gets out of the car and rings the doorbell, even if that means talking awkwardly with the family while the girl gets ready. Actually, no, make that especially if it means talking awkwardly with the family while the girl gets ready. That should have to happen occasionally.
And while we're on the topic of dating...
5. Don't date until at least your Junior year (and even then, it's ill advised).
High school can be hard enough without the drama of a possible (read: almost certain) breakup and ruining of friendships. Too many adorable little Freshmen friendships have been split apart because this stupid little hormonal Freshmen kid thought his female friend was cute, and she thought he was cute, and their friends got them together, and it ended up not working out because OF COURSE IT DIDN'T, and boom: awkwardness. Forever.
image: adamflora.blogspot.com
"I just can't believe he'd go behind my back and text Gina with a smiley face! I never thought he'd cheat on me like that."
Well, not really forever.You see, when you're young and "in love", it seems like it will last forever. And after it doesn't last forever, you think that the rift between you and your previous crush will last forever. Sometimes it does. But it usually doesn't.
Most of those relationships start because the two involved were good friends who happened to find each other attractive. While physical attraction is pretty important when attempting to find someone who will potentially be someone who could possibly end up being someone you might consider marrying someday, just because she's your friend and she's hot doesn't mean your at all compatible.
I have one or two graduated friends who are still dating someone they started going out with back in their Sophomore year. I don't think I know anyone who's Freshmen relationship survived the year. It's very rare, is what I'm saying. It's not worth the potential heartbreak. Just enjoy being friends! Guys should absolutely have "girl bros", as I like to call them.
Most of those relationships start because the two involved were good friends who happened to find each other attractive. While physical attraction is pretty important when attempting to find someone who will potentially be someone who could possibly end up being someone you might consider marrying someday, just because she's your friend and she's hot doesn't mean your at all compatible.
I have one or two graduated friends who are still dating someone they started going out with back in their Sophomore year. I don't think I know anyone who's Freshmen relationship survived the year. It's very rare, is what I'm saying. It's not worth the potential heartbreak. Just enjoy being friends! Guys should absolutely have "girl bros", as I like to call them.
The above video is amusing and makes a valid point: Guys tend to see any and all female friends as potential dating opportunities, while girls really wish they could have guy friends that didn't think this way. However, I don't think this is a bad thing, as long as you are able to take a more mature view of relationships. I know that's asking a lot of some of you, but please, this could help you out a lot.
Nearly all of my girl friends (as in friends who are girls) I find attractive. I have no problem saying it. Hello, ladies! You're all very pretty and you should feel good about your looks! You're welcome!
Now, I would never in a million years ask out most of them. That sounds super mean, but it isn't like that at all. I have some extremely close girl friends who are stunningly gorgeous and have winning personalities, but we aren't compatible. A few paragraphs earlier I linked a previous article/rant about relationships, and I explain the whole compatibility thing in greater detail.
Basically guys, it comes down to self control. Yes, she's pretty. Yes, she's your friend. Yes, her best friend just told your best friend who just told you that she thinks your adorable and funny and she wishes you would ask her out. Be the man and realize that she thinks she wants that, but because you love her as a person, you won't go out with her.
Freshmen and Sophomores (and a lot of Juniors and Seniors as well), understand the fact that you are in no fit state of mind to be committing yourself to any sort of a relationship. Learn about what you like in girls from simply being friends with them. It works. Trust me.
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No girl can play a shooter while your holding down the trigger for her, Blue Tee. Lay off. However, despite the fact that you're totally ruining her K/D, she's still enjoying herself. She's a keeper.
Also, for all of you guys who complain about "The Friend-Zone", know this: Just because you are nice to a girl does not mean you are entitled to reciprocated affection. So you've decided to ignore my advice and try to go out with this girl. That's alright. It won't ruin high school for you when it doesn't work out, and you'll have fun while it lasts.
What's this? You go out of your way to be chivalrous to her and you enjoy the same things, and yet she thinks that you're, "Like a brother" to her? Sucks, bro. Thing is, she is totally allowed to like whoever she wants, and you have to be okay with that. So...
6. Be in "like" with someone, and do nothing about it.
Everyone in high school should have to live with having a crush on someone really bad. It is a not good feeling sometimes. I know. We all know. Everyone (thankfully) does experience that.
Why do I think that this is such a good thing? Because it will keep happening for the rest of your life, and you have to learn how to deal with it. Everywhere you go, there will be beautiful people who are fun to be around, and you feel some level of attraction to them.
So what do you do? Absolutely nothing. You continue being friends with them, and even if you sometimes feel uncomfortable, that will slowly pass. It always does. Usually within weeks or months. If not, then you're developing an unhealthy attachment, and it needs to stop.
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On the other side of this tape it says, "Danger: Entitled man child with preconceived notions that you would be in like with him if he was nice enough and/or just wants to get in your pants."
"The Friend-Zone" is what mature adults call "Having a friend who is very attractive but not at all an option". When you realize that it is completely okay to think that a good friend of yours is appealing as a member of the opposite sex and not tell them or anyone or make a move on them, your life will get so mucn better.
"But what if I'm in love with them?" you ask. Well, you're probably not. You may love them, but that's different. Everyone I call friend I love. I love them as a friend and, if they're Christians, I love them as a brother or sister in Christ.
In the same way I would tell a bro, "I love you bro", and not be sarcastic, so too can I love a girl and not be "in love" with her. I do have some girl friends who I tell that I love them, and although I would not do that with some of my more casual female friends, for those I am very close to the meaning is clear. I love them, and they love me, and we're not in like or in love or anything in-between.
*(By the way, guys? Girls totally get friendzoned all the time as well. You guys are quite the catch and don't realize it, apparently. You spent all your time pining after that one super cute girl that your text all the time and failed to realize that the girl you've been friends with since first grade hasn't gone out with a boy in a long time, and spends all her time with you, and really really really really really really wants you to take the hint.)
7. Try out for extra-curricular activities.
Sports. Drama. Choir. Knitting club. There are lots of things you can do here in the U.S. that the schools will not only encourage, but fund and help you pursue.
My personal recommendation? Be in a play or a musical. If you can't act of sing, do tech for it. If you can't do that, be on the stage crew. If that's to much stress, then act. Seriously, most high school productions will have a low stress roll somewhere in the background. Just find a way to be a part of the production, because the drama people are the coolest people.
I'm deathly serious.
image: nationalyouththeatre.com
Just looking at this picture I wish I could sit down and talk about life with all of them.
Not all that good at basketball, but love the sport? Try our anyway. Don't let your low opinion of your skills restrict you from at least trying for things. Reach for the stars! It is always worth it to try out for something; if you don't, the decision could haunt you for the rest of your life. So what if you can't play, or sing, or act? High school is where you learn things, remember?
You know you can't make the varsity team? Try for JV. You might learn some new moves and make the varsity team next year. Everyone is a beginner at some point.
Plus, the friends you make will be some of your best friends for your whole high school experience. I will never forget the friends I made in my varsity choir class or in the various musicals I performed in. I can't act very well at all, but I can sing, and in musicals one or the other will usually suffice for supporting roles.
Try out for something early on. There is no guarantee that you'll like it or be good at it, but then you know, and you won't have any regrets. If you try out for a bunch of stuff your Freshmen year, and decide not to do anything, that's okay. You'll be able to live out your high school days in peace.
And remember: It's never too late to try. For our production of Beauty and the Beast there were a number of Seniors who had never acted before. They just wanted to get one production in because it was their last chance. Don't wait that long if possible. Make as many memories as you can as soon as you can.
***
There's certainly more I could talk about, but I feel like this is enough. Don't make the mistakes I did. Do the things that you'll love. And do the hard things even when you want to give in or give up. You'll be happy you did.
One last word of advice: don't sleep in class if you snore. Just...don't.
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